This is a moral fable.

For those not familiar with the old story, Everton FC, the people's club, used to play at Anfield.

That is to say, in the truly old days, over a hundred years ago, it was a football club of church goers playing on a local pitch. And it was one of the best in its area, always drawing in a crowd. As the club advanced, so did the prices, until the owner of the pitch began to ask too much.

And so Everton, the people's club, refused to pay, took up roots, and were gone. We moved across town to Goodison park and there we are to this day -- while the kopites, the gobshite, the greedy baron's bastards squat on land that was once ours and even wanted to take our name and kit until the FA disallowed it. And now Liverpool, the "thinking man's club" is what they're called, and Everton is treated like some poor foster child.

But if you know your history.

Plans are being set in motion to move the club from Goodison. For 114 years, the Toffees have taken that pitch, and now it's to be moved -- and not even within the city limits, but to Kirkby. It's four miles from Goodison in its current location, but beyond what's commonly considered Liverpool, conceding our city to our rivals, I suppose.

The reason being money. The reason being need for a new stadium with more seats, meaning more revenue and larger budgets to be spent on players. Meaning the only chance to rise above mediocrity is through sacrifice of that which has been held dear for so long.

But why Kirkby? Why surrender even of our city, along with dignity and standards?

The club is making it so it's harder to hate Wayne Rooney without seeming like a hypocrite. That is, if he learned to not kiss that fucking Manc badge. For that, I'll continue to hate him.

Happy upcoming holidays to everyone, and here's hoping you didn't sell your soul to pay for your tree.